Umbrellas or event canopies?

Sometimes it rains. This has been the way things have been for 13 billion years. In recent times, humankind has conquered the terrible rain with an invention called the Umbrella.

The umbrella should be a device used to keep oneself dry. When it rains in Manhattan, everyone sports their umbrellas. If you are not fortunate enough to have an umbrella with you, you can usually survive by ducking under the vast array of other umbrellas that form a faux-canopy over most of the streets of NYC.

I have seen, and had to avoid, the people who have HUGE umbrellas. What are these people thinking? Literally, an umbrella with a 10' diameter is too much for a 105lb person. You could keep you, your entire extended family, and all of their worldly possessions dry under one of these mammoth sized umbrella. I have seen event canopies that were smaller. I was walking behind one the other day (it could have been a person under it, I don't know, but it took up the entire 45th street sidewalk), and the umbrella was forcing everyone off the sidewalk.

HAVE SOME COMMON SENSE! If your rain canopy is too big to fit though a standard doorway, if it has it's own weather system under it... or if you find that when you use it, people like me want to take an exacto knife to it, get a SMALLER umbrella. The kind used to shield HUMANS from the rain, not the kind used to stop rain from hitting the eastern hemisphere!

People with large umbrellas should be impaled.